Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

You can never be sure...

So this morning Jessi and I woke up early. Having a little bit of free time before church, my gorgeous bride threw in a load of white laundry. We showered, and Jessi found that she all of her garment tops managed to make it into the washing machine, were now soaking wet and soapy, and we needed to leave in 10 minutes. We decided that I would just tell everyone that she was sick today and find someone to help me teach primary while she stayed home.

Walking across the church parking lot a sister (who I don't remember having seen before) asks

"Where's your wife?"

"Oh, she's out sick today."

"Does she have the flu?"

hm... last thing I need is for them to think I have been exposed to the flu and am spreading it to all of primary. Better go with food poisoning.

"No, she doesn't have the flu, she was nauseous this morning."

"She's PREGNANT!!!"

"No, no, she isn't pregnant, just sick."

"If she is nauseous, she must be pregnant."

"I'm sure she isn't pregnant"

"How can you be sure?"

um... because she isn't really sick...

"I know she isn't pregnant"

"You can never be sure..."

How can this woman be sure that I can't be sure? Jessi could be on her period, or the pill, we could use condoms, we might be infertile, maybe we don't even have sex; all things this strange woman knows nothing about, but are distinctly within the realm of possible reasons that a person could confidently say that his wife isn't preggers.

"I am sure she isn't pregnant"

"What is your name?"

After the conversation we just had, do I really want to give her my name...?

"I'm Jordan..."

"Well it must be such an exciting time for you with your wife expecting, good bye now." and she was off to take her hard earned gossip and spread it like dandelion seeds in the wind.