Life changes and it often changes unexpectedly. Things you take as truth or "that's the way it is going to be" sometimes change right before your eyes. Sometimes change is bad, sometimes it is neutral, and other times it leaves you so happy and bewildered you can't believe it is your life. We've had a lot of that recently, the "so happy and bewildered" type of change.
Let me back up a little bit.
I was in college when I found out that parts of my body hated me and might make it difficult for me to ever get pregnant. Doctors weren't optimistic about my chances so I wasn't going to hold my breath for it to happen.
Fast forward to November 8th, 2008. Jordan and I got married. :) Happy day. We made our life plans and figured that we would start the adoption process after Jordan graduated from college. Jordan and I were content and happy with the idea of adoption (more than happy, adoption is fabulous!) . We prayed about it and life was good. I had a plan and I like plans- preferably a 10 year plan with each month carefully planned out. (I think it might be genetic.)
As life continued for the next two years we made small adjustments to the plan, mostly related to schooling but one thing staying constant. We would start the long, hard, often heartbreaking (but oh so worth it!) process of adopting a child when Jordan was done with school.
Fast forward again to the beginning of November. Remember this blog post? Jordan and I just laughed thinking if that lady only knew that we were infertile she might change her tune a little. Maybe she was sent to help us get ready for the upcoming news...
Thanksgiving 2010. Jordan and I just stared at the little white stick as we tried to wrap our minds around what the little + meant. Our life had just been turned on its head. Every plan suddenly went flying out the window. To be honest I was more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. Both Jordan and I were terrified that we would lose the baby and it would turn out to be a some sick joke of God's.
Even though I had become pregnant my body wasn't sure what it was supposed to do next so it had to be helped along by doctors and medications. I had about a 50/50 chance of making it to 10 weeks.
Thankfully, modern medicine (and God) has kept this pregnancy going. I have had more ultrasounds already than most people have after having had multiple children. I know all of the phlebotomist's names at quest diagnostics. They call me a "frequent flier" and know my name when I walk in the door. (Here's a hint: ALWAYS make friends with your nurses, front desk staff and phlebotomist's - they are the ones that really run the show!)
Now, after 14 weeks my body has started taking over the pregnancy. For the time being my pregnancy is just like everyone else's. Yesterday, Jordan and I saw our little one's arms and legs. She (we think it is a girl) was twirling and dancing and waving at us. We got to hear her heartbeat- 167 beats per minute. It sounds a lot like a choo choo train. It was the most surreal moment of my life.
I don't know why God decided to change the game plan for us. Maybe he didn't. Some woman with PCOS have no problem getting pregnant the first time but are never able to again. Maybe I will beat the odds and be a fertile myrtle. Who knows. I guess this was his plan all along. I'd be lying to say I wasn't worried anymore. I still am. Something could go horribly wrong tomorrow.But regardless of what happens I know a few things. 1) God loves us. 2) He has a plan for us. 3) If I have Jordan by my side everything will be okay. It may not be easy, but it will be okay.
For now, all I can do is sit back, enjoy the ride and make some minor adjustments (okay, MAJOR adjustments) to my 10 year plan.
Oh, and happy 24th birthday to me!!! :)
Netty, this is for you.
Dear slightly crazy lady from our ward,
It has come to our attention that you are only slightly crazy and we apologize for thinking you were completely and totally off your rocker crazy.
Please accept our apologizes.
Thank you,
Jordan and Jessica
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Something we all need to hear...
“In whatever country you live, however young or inadequate you feel, or however aged or limited you see yourself as being, I testify you are individually loved of God, you are central to the meaning of His work, and you are cherished and prayed for by the presiding officers of His Church. The personal value, the sacred splendor of every one of you, is the very reason there is a plan for salvation and exaltation.”
Elder Holland
October GC address
Elder Holland
October GC address
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Weekly Menu
Monday: Chicken Cordon Blue, Rice and Salad
Tuesday: Crock Pot Chili and rolls
Wednesday: Crock Pot Garlic Chicken, mashed potatoes, jello, green beans and baked apples for dessert.
(With left over chicken make taquitos to freeze for next week)
Thursday: Pork Chops, Rice-a-roni, salad
Friday: Super duper burgers, potato chips, carrot sticks and celery.
Saturday:, Seafood Alfredo (chicken for Jessica), breadsticks, salad
Sunday (Last day of vacation...sad day): Daddy's Meatloaf
Tuesday: Crock Pot Chili and rolls
Wednesday: Crock Pot Garlic Chicken, mashed potatoes, jello, green beans and baked apples for dessert.
(With left over chicken make taquitos to freeze for next week)
Thursday: Pork Chops, Rice-a-roni, salad
Friday: Super duper burgers, potato chips, carrot sticks and celery.
Saturday:, Seafood Alfredo (chicken for Jessica), breadsticks, salad
Sunday (Last day of vacation...sad day): Daddy's Meatloaf
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